There’s one thing that everything living has in common….the desire to connect with someone or something else that is living—people, pets and animals, or even plants. We all have an image of ‘love’ flying around in our thoughts like that elusive fly during a picnic in the park. Always there, sometimes closer and more visible, sometimes not, but . . . we know it’s always there.

As human beings, there are many things that can draw our attention to someone…

common interests
common beliefs
admiration for one’s character
ease of conversation
positive attitude
friends of friends
a big bank account
a pretty face
great hair
an amazing smile
picture perfect body
stylish clothes
cool cars
exquisite home
being ‘worldly’
and of course . . . mere loneliness.

But it does seem that despite everyone having the same core desire to connect, connecting, and more importantly, having it stick and be filled with fun, passion, intimacy, and fulfillment for both involved can be challenging at best.

So if you ever find yourself wondering why that is, here’s your answer.

The Love Triangle: Three Daily Choices to Have & Keep Love

1. We have to be Honest

It’s true, honesty is telling the truth, but it’s more than that. Honesty is intimately knowing ourselves, our wants, our needs, our strengths, and our weaknesses—and being able and open to convey that to another individual. Honesty is the ability to be strong yet vulnerable. Honesty is the ability to be self-assured yet humble.

2. We have to be Considerate

Like honesty, being considerate is more than just making someone else’s life easier and more enjoyable. If you Google “considerate,” it is defined as, ‘not wanting to cause inconvenience or hurt to others.’ As such, active understanding, empathy, and forgiveness all fall under the umbrella of being considerate. In being considerate, we actively choose to repair what breaks down and celebrate what is going better than expected.

3. We have to be Attentive

True . . . texts, phone calls, video chats, date nights, and affection are all important. However, like honesty and consideration, being attentive involves more than just ‘being there.’ Attentiveness is timely—the more attentive, the more rapid a response will be seen. Attentiveness is awareness often addressing another person’s wants and needs before they are even spoken. Attentiveness is expressed by placing someone or something as a high priority. The higher the priority, the more attentive we become. It is attentiveness that demonstrates to others that they hold a unique and special place in our hearts. Being attentive requires listening followed by action.

I assure you, if you (and the one that you have defined a relationship with) practice and actively participate in these choices with one another, you will have the relationship that you envision—regardless if that person is a colleague, a friend, a family member, or romantic partner.

Most importantly, I assure you that if you practice and actively participate in these choices regarding your own individual goals, you will move closer and closer to #LiveYourValue, improve your physical health, and achieve greater contentment.

Remember, today and every day, live your value one choice at a time

-Dr. D